Area Couple Names Newborn Daughter ‘Abe’


Colin and Evelyn Harder, of the Shoenhorst area, have decided to name their newborn daughter ‘Abe’ to give her a fighting chance of getting a decent job when she’s older.

“It’s too bad we have to do this,” explained Evelyn, “but I know from experience that names like Mary, Aganetha, Betsy, Susan, and Evelyn won’t get you very far in this town. That’s just the way it is around here.”

Young Abe Harder was photographed with her parents wearing a pink onesie and a cute little bow that her auntie Erin bought for her.

“We love Abe so much,” said Colin, “and we just want what’s best for her, and if that means calling her Abe so her resume doesn’t get thrown in the trash, then that’s what we’ll have to do.”

The couple plans to enroll young Abe Harder in ballet lessons when she’s old enough.

“She seems like a ballerina to me, so sweet and cuddly,” explained her father.

“Abe Harder is my little princess,” added Mom, “and nothing will get in her way of achieving everything she wants in life…especially not her first name.”

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