Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews


A small town Mennonite church has become the first in the region to install gender neutral church pews.

“Previously, men sat on one side and women on the other,” explained deacon Harry Wall, “but now people can use the pew of their choice regardless of gender.”

The church is being praised by some for its progressive stance, while receiving some criticism from more conservative congregants for conforming to the patterns of the world.

“I don’t see why we need to let people define their own place to sit in church,” said critic Norman Wiens, 72, of Rosengart. “I’m really thinking of leaving the church over this.”

Some have even suggested the new church pews are a safety issue.

“I’m not going to let my daughter sit in a pew with some man pretending to have the right to sit in her general vicinity,” said angry dad Curtis Janzen. “What’s next? Gender neutral pulpits?”

Despite the concern, the church leadership are adamant that they’ve made the right decision to allow people to sit wherever the heck they feel like when worshipping the Lord.

Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck
Thousands Come Forward to Dedicate Their Lives to Trump