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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

December 12, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The competition was fierce at the annual Mennonite Humility Awards this year, but, in the end, Mr. Samuel Janzen, 73, of Wichita was awarded the ‘Most Humble Person in Human History’ trophy. “Woohoo! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonite Couple Still Fast-Forwards Through Sex Scenes

December 9, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Nettie Dyck of Regina have been in the habit of fast-forwarding through sex scenes in movies since their children were young. The kids have long since grown up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Holdeman Radio Station Plays Nothing but Static

December 8, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Radio listeners in southern Manitoba have a new option on the dial after a young entrepreneur decided to launch a station dedicated to playing all the best Holdeman hits! CJHLDM 108.3 FM promises […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom Discovers Hidden Stash of ‘Preservings’ Magazine Under Teen Son’s Mattress

December 7, 2017 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mrs. Mary Loewen of North Kildonan was just going about her daily chores when she discovered a half dozen copies of the ‘Preservings’ journal underneath her son Adam’s mattress. “Oba! Looks like […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Overstays Welcome By Two Years

December 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Klippensteins of Friedensfield showed up uninvited at the Giesbrecht family home in Altona for a dinner party in the fall of 2015 and have finally decided to leave after Mrs. Edna Giesbrecht […]

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