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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Parents Use Low German Code Language During Holiday Season

December 19, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Parents across southeast Manitoba have been speaking nonstop Plautdietsch this December in order to keep Bethany and Ethan from finding out what they’re getting for Christmas. “It’s great, we can jerad and mulwoakjs all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Logical Fallacies Explained to Mennonites

December 18, 2017 Andrew

Mennonites are pacifists, so we can’t use physical violence to achieve our goals. So, how do we get our way? Well, by winning an argument of course! We use words, not swords. In order to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites are Feeling Vary Blast This Time of Year Yet

December 15, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mannanites across western Canada have been sharing #blast memes throughout the holiday season this year yet. “Like and share if you’re feeling sea gut and blast dis year,” said Mrs. Petkau of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Ryan and Diane Hiebert of Abbotsford have busied themselves buying truckloads of completely useless shit for the holiday season. It’s been quite stressful for the couple as their list of people […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonite Couple Still Fast-Forwards Through Sex Scenes

December 9, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Nettie Dyck of Regina have been in the habit of fast-forwarding through sex scenes in movies since their children were young. The kids have long since grown up […]

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