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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Local Chiropractor Specializes in Treating Mennonite Rubbernecking Injuries

January 26, 2018 Andrew

CHORTITZ, MB A southern Manitoba chiropractor has decided to focus his talents on addressing neck injuries caused by prolonged gawking and staring, which, he says, is a common problem in Mennonite communities everywhere. “Prolonged periods […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Divorces After Discovering Common Ancestor

January 25, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After years of searching genealogy websites and poring through family history books, local man Peter Nikkel of Altona, has learned that he and his wife Anne are distantly related. Upon discovering the news, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ever Notice How the MCC Logo Looks Exactly Like the State of Texas?

January 22, 2018 Andrew

Something’s going on here. I’m not sure what it is. But for some reason our beloved Mennonite Central Committee has been using a logo that’s shaped exactly like the state of Texas. And this has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Mennonite Women Left Homeless After Tornado Strikes MCC Store

January 18, 2018 Andrew

KJRIESELSTORM, KS More than thirty Mennonite women have been left without any place to go after a tornado ripped through the heart of a local MCC Thrift Store yesterday afternoon. “They’re here all the time. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There

January 17, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Sawatzky family of Edmonton has discovered the hard way that a single lit match is wholly insufficient to mask the mysterious odour that often emanates from the bathroom after Dad’s been in […]

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