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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple ‘Devastated’ after Narrowly Missing Registration Deadline for Church this Sunday

April 24, 2021 Andrew

YARROW, BC Pamela and Thomas Bueckert of Yarrow, BC put off registering for church on this lovely Sunday morning just long enough that all the spots were taken and they had to spend their morning […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months

April 22, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Pete of North Southside Mennonite has graciously decided to shorten his sermons to a more tolerable 90 to 120 minutes for the summer months. “Hey, I know how it is in the […]

Unger Conviction

Breaking! Pastor Dan’s Been Getting All His Insights from the Footnotes in His ‘Ryrie Study Bible’

April 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Drone footage hovering above the pulpit this week has revealed that Pastor Dan’s been getting all this spiritual insights from the footnotes in his Ryrie Study Bible. “I feel we’ve been duped. From […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Butt Dials the Whole Congregation

March 23, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON After uncomfortably shifting in her wooden pew for a full hour during the sermon, Mrs. Esau accidentally butt dialed the pastor, the pastor’s wife, five elders, every member of the women’s quilting […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church to Pipe in Fake Crowd Noise

February 25, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Starting this Sunday, the Northside Mennonite Church of Omaha is going to be piping authentic church crowd noise through the sound system to give the few people who show up the full church-going […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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