Mennonite Man Hesitant to Get Vaccine after Learning He’ll Have to Start Attending Church Again


The true source of southern Manitoba vaccine hesitancy has finally been discovered. A new survey indicates that fear of having to go to church again is causing a lot of folks in the R.M. of Stanley to hold off. Mr. Dueck of Reinland, for example, was all signed up to get the vaccine until he found out that if enough people get vaccinated all the churches will reopen.

“It’s not so much vaccine hesitancy as church hesitancy,” says Dueck. “I like my Sundays mornings as they are, thank you very much.”

What to make, then, of all the area churches defying provincial health orders?

“They’re trying to trick us. Trying to make the public think we’re all clamouring to get in there. Believe me, we’re not,” said Dueck. “63 years of Pastor Dave’s sermons is more than enough.”

Dueck says he’s kind of likes sleeping in and Sunday mornings and having brunch like the heathens do and is also not looking forward to driving his kids to youth every Friday evening when he could be watching the game.

“Hmmm, reopening churches? You know I was pretty eager before, but now I’m hesitant,” said Dueck. “Maybe I’ll hold off for a while.”

At present time, Manitoba was one vaccinated citizen away from reopening, but Dueck wants a signed contract assuring him he doesn’t have to get up earlier than 11:30 on Sundays.

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