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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months

April 22, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Pete of North Southside Mennonite has graciously decided to shorten his sermons to a more tolerable 90 to 120 minutes for the summer months. “Hey, I know how it is in the […]

Unger Conviction

Breaking! Pastor Dan’s Been Getting All His Insights from the Footnotes in His ‘Ryrie Study Bible’

April 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Drone footage hovering above the pulpit this week has revealed that Pastor Dan’s been getting all this spiritual insights from the footnotes in his Ryrie Study Bible. “I feel we’ve been duped. From […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Butt Dials the Whole Congregation

March 23, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON After uncomfortably shifting in her wooden pew for a full hour during the sermon, Mrs. Esau accidentally butt dialed the pastor, the pastor’s wife, five elders, every member of the women’s quilting […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church to Pipe in Fake Crowd Noise

February 25, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Starting this Sunday, the Northside Mennonite Church of Omaha is going to be piping authentic church crowd noise through the sound system to give the few people who show up the full church-going […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week

February 23, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The Mennonites of Swift Current were on the edge of their seats this week as the names were drawn from the old BINGO cage to see which lucky members get to attend […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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