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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Heroic Mennonite Woman Stops Her Husband from Eating the Soap

July 20, 2021 Andrew

ARBORG, MB It was a close call this week after Diane Penner stepped in just as the last second before her husband Earl was about to chow down on a particularly delicious-looking piece of soap. […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Prime Minister Mistakes ‘Trudope’ for a Brand of Cannabis

July 19, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON “It’s hard to keep up with all these cannabis companies,” said Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at press conference in Ottawa today. “But lately I’ve been hearing people shout ‘Trudope’ everywhere I go, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”

July 18, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Randy Baerg, 41, had to leave church early this past Sunday to check on his smoker. As soon Jack Froese and Billy Wiebe got word that Randy was scooching down the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together

July 17, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mr. and Mrs. Wiebe have been on the rocks for quite some time and have finally decided to seek cousin counselling. Thankfully, it looks like the relationship can be saved, thanks to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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