CNN Pleads with Biden to Start a Few More Wars


CNN news anchors got down on their hands and knees this week begging President Joe Biden to at least “start another war in North Korea or something” to make up for his exit from Afghanistan.

“We beg you, sir. Please, please, for the sake of all that’s good and righteous in our military industrial complex, please invade another country,” said CNN spokesperson Fred Turnover. “It just pains me to see our country mind its own business like this.”

The folks at CNN and other major news networks on the payroll of Halliburton et al, felt that it just wasn’t right to leave Afghanistan at a time like this.

“There is a humanitarian crisis going on right now,” said Turnover. “I wish the governments would consider this impact this kind of thing has on our ratings and on the pocket books of our weapon manufacturing friends.”

CNN is reporting the incident to Amnesty International in hopes that they can convince Biden to start some wars just like the good ol’ days.

(photo credit: Josh Hallett/CC)

Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn't Run Out of Food at the Gathering
Toronto Man Arrested for Pronouncing the Second T