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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Timothéeee Chalamet Adds a Couple Extra E’s

November 16, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Dune star Timothéeee Chalamet has just broken the record for more successive E’s in a name after having his name legally changed from Timothée to Timothéeee earlier this week. “I looked at my name up there […]

The Daily Bonnet

From Knackzoat to Plumi Moos: Five Amazing New Gifts in MCC’s Annual Christmas Giving Guide

November 15, 2021 Andrew

Christmas is a time of giving and generosity. Ever year at Christmas, the MCC offers folks the chance to choose items to donate from their gift giving guide. In addition to old favourites like wells, mosquito […]

Unger Suspicion

Pop Star Releases New ‘Voices Together (Taylor’s Version)’

November 14, 2021 Andrew

WEST READING, PA It’s a little known fact that as a young girl in Pennsylvania, pop star Taylor Swift became quite familiar with the Mennonite Church hymnal. This, according to Swift, is what inspired her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Puts on His Winter Tires

November 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Kliewer of Leamington is always the last one in town to put on his winter tires, usually waiting until there’s at least three feet of snow at minimum. “Mennonites don’t need any […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Using Genealogy Website to Cheat at Mennonite Game

November 12, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Timmy Plett, 34, of Landmark has been arrested by local RCMP this week after he was caught logging onto Mennonite genealogy website GRanDMA Online in an attempt to cheat at the Mennonite Game. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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