Lord Blesses Mennonites with Massive Farmer Sausage Smoke Shack

TORONTO, ON

The prayers of devout Mennonites across Canada have been answered this week as thousands of acres of forest are now on fire, providing ample opportunity to smoke a sausage or two.

“I was concerned we’d run out of formavorscht this year,” said local sausage smoker Dietrich Werner. “After faithfully tithing for the past six months, however, it appears that we’ll have no shortage of fire/sausage.”

Werner and his pals rushed to the forest to toss their secret recipe of spices and ground pork with natural casings onto the inferno.

“We used to be confined to the tiny shed behind the barn,” said Werner, “but now the entire province of Ontario is one big farmer sausage smoke shack.”

Even city Mennonites are in on the action.

“I haven’t had a good authentic farmer sausage since I lived in southern Manitoba,” said Toronto resident Aganetha Berg. “Looks like I’ll have to invite a few friends.”

Berg is hoping that all three other Mennonites in the area (Magdalene Redekop, Sherri Klassen, and Miriam Toews) will stop by her Danforth home and indulge in some authentic Toront0-smoked farmer sausage.

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