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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 9, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB A stash of secular records were discovered under Garth Wiebe’s mattress this week, after a tip by prying neighbours led to a raid of the premises by church elders. “As you know, we […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Forecast Calls for -8 Today or -230 with Windchill

December 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB According to expert meteorologists, the City of Winnipeg is forecasted to hit a high of -8 today … or -230 if you factor in the windchill. “It’s going to be downright balmy! Single […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Plasters their Refrigerator with Christmas Cards from Politicians

December 7, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local couple Pete and Anne Dueck have plastered their refrigerator with their most precious holiday items – Christmas cards from area politicians. “Ahhh, Ted, you shouldn’t have,” said Pete, scrambling to find a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Takes 14 Hours to Bake Cookies that will be Gone in 2 Minutes

December 6, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Erin Koop of Steinbach got up at 5 am this past Saturday to bake a batch of sugar cookies that were gone just seconds after she lay them out to cool. “Diewel! […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Ensures Mennonites Bill C-21 Will Not Affect Their Right to Bare Arms

December 5, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Mennonites across Canada breathed a sigh of relief today, after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Bill C-21 is being carefully reviewed to ensure it will not impede on their right to show […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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