Unger Games
Argos Destroy Patriots 28-5
BOSTON, MA In a rare cross-border match last night, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts embarrassed the New England Patriots by a score of 28 to 5. “We were down by three touchdowns in the 7th inning. […]
Articles by Andrew
Unger Suspicion
Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna
WINNIPEG, MB Due to a recent heat wave, the entire province of Manitoba has been declared one massive sauna and all residents are being asked to strip down to the bare essentials and laze about […]
Unger Suspicion
Saskatchewan Man Insists His Province is “Not that Flat” and You’re Just Seeing the Boring Part from the Highway
SASKATOON, SK Local man Al Wiens, 61, wants to assure all his out-of-town guests this summer that Saskatchewan is nothing at all like it appears to be from the Trans-Canada Highway. “Squint a little and […]
Unger Suspicion
Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit
GREENDALE, BC A recent visit to the region by 90s sitcom star Kelsey Grammer has caused such a stir that locals have petitioned authorities to rename the area ‘Frasier Valley.’ “We’ve never had such a […]
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Plastic Bags
LINDEN, AB Area woman Doris Froese has been collecting plastic bags from the grocery store since they were first introduced in the mid-1980s. “And I’ve never thrown out a single one,” said Froese. “They’re super […]