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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

World’s Coolest Mennonite Pastor Wears Fox Racing Hoodie to Church

August 2, 2022 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB In an effort to bring back the crowds, local Pastor Dan will be sporting a camo Fox Racing hoodie from now until church attendance is back to normal. “I might throw in a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles

August 1, 2022 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Area man Todd Sawatzky has lost the respect of everyone in all of Tofield this week after he piled his plate with bread and butter pickles instead of the good ones. “Waut de […]

The Daily Bonnet

Costumed Museum Volunteer Mistaken for “Real Authentic Mennonite”

July 31, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than a thousand eager photographers from the city stopped to get a snapshot of museum volunteer Erin Bergmann this afternoon, figuring they had got themselves a photo of a “real authentic Mennonite.” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tucks His Beloved Ronnie’s Into Bed For the Night

July 30, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades of searching for love with no success, local man Arnold Hiebert, 63, has finally found his lifelong companion. Arnold is now officially betrothed to a bag of Ronnie’s Jumbo dill pickle […]

Unger Conviction

Hillsong Documentary Crew Turns Lens on Tiny Mennonite Country Church

July 29, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENGART, SK Fresh off the success of their Hillsong documentary, the Discovery Channel is now pointing its lens at the tiny Blumengart EMBCCMCBB church in rural Saskatchewan. “We spent six months there with hidden cameras […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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