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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Hottest Christmas Present This Year? Children’s Advil

December 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Saskatonians lined up outside their neighbourhood department store this week to get their hands on the hottest present of the season – children’s Advil. “I haven’t seen anything like this since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Looks Exactly the Same in AI-Generated Historical Photos

December 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Irene Klassen of Steinbach was very excited about the new AI historic photo app her granddaughter Megan told her about. That is, until the results came in and all the photos looked […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide

December 11, 2022 Andrew

Ahhh, hate mail. It’s always such a delightful gift to receive any time of year, but especially around the holidays. If you’re considering giving the gift of irrational angry vitriol this year, here are a […]

Unger & Thirst

Only 2 Days Left Until Christmas … According to Mennonite Woman’s Chocolate Advent Calendar

December 10, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Janessa Froese, 37, of Leamington is very excited that Christmas is only a couple days away … at least according to her advent calendar. “It’s been a long and delicious December,” said Froese, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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