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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finally Finds Some Suitable Olive Oil

May 4, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC As Aganetha Kliewer, 72, of Chilliwack wandered the aisles of the local grocery store this week she was very excited to discovery an olive oil that was seemingly made just for her: extra […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Prepare to Mark Coronation of King Rudy Wiebe

May 3, 2023 Andrew

TABER, AB Monarchists and royal watchers throughout the Mennonite world are eagerly anticipating the coronation of King Rudy Wiebe this Saturday. The excitement is mounting in Taber, Alberta, where locals have scrambled to read Peace […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Proposes Massive Sunflower Field for Portage and Main

May 2, 2023 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Adding to the long list of brilliant new proposals for Winnipeg’s most famous intersection, local man Abe B. Wall has submitted a proposal to convert Portage and Main into a massive field of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kildonan Fellowship Church Opens New Location in Winnipeg

May 1, 2023 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB A brand new Kildonan Fellowship Church location has opened in Winnipeg this week and locals are really excited to try it out. “It’s really awesome to see Kildonan Fellowship Church branching out […]

Unger Games

Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted

April 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a disgustingly quick exit from the NHL playoff, the Winnipeg Jets players are absolutely disgusted to discover their own coach was disgusted with their disgusting performance. “I’m absolutely disgusted that he’d call […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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