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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Prince Harry Hits 99 km/h on Local Toboggan Hill

February 16, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was just enough snow for recent bobsled enthusiast Prince Harry to set a new record at Manitoba’s highest peak: Abe’s Hill in Steinbach. “First we had to clear all the children on […]

Unger Suspicion

Huge Crowd for Kate Bowler has People Thinking Taylor Swift is in Town

February 15, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man, Peter Dueck, 71, ventured into the city from Winkler this afternoon and decided to enter Grant Park Shopping Centre via the convenient McNally Robinson entrance. Unfortunately for the bewildered Dueck, he […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego

February 14, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Area man Kjnels Thiessen, 21, is attempting to woo the single women of Manitoba Colony by consuming a whole bag of Takis Fuego during faspa this Sunday. “Oba, that Kjnels sure is handsome […]

Unger Conviction

Nation Eliminates Poverty with $100 Million Investment in Jesus Commercials

February 13, 2024 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The United States of America is close to becoming the first country on earth to eliminate poverty this week after the airing of a $100 million Super Bowl commercial that, apparently, promots […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’

February 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Closeted Mennonite rock fans held a clandestine meeting in the back room at Topper’s Restaurant this week to commemorate 50 years of the seminal 1973 album Jantsied of the Moon by ‘Pink’ Floyd […]

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    September 20, 2020
  • Death Row Inmate Requests Mennonite Food for Last Meal
    October 26, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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