Mennonites Prepare to Mark Coronation of King Rudy Wiebe


Monarchists and royal watchers throughout the Mennonite world are eagerly anticipating the coronation of King Rudy Wiebe this Saturday. The excitement is mounting in Taber, Alberta, where locals have scrambled to read Peace Shall Destroy Many before the coronation.

Jauma, if we’re going to have King Rudy Wiebe, I should at least read one of his books,” said Dan Thiessen of Taber. “I mean, without Rudy Wiebe there’d be no Patrick Friesen or Miriam Toews or even Andrew Unger.”

The coronation is set to be held at the Taber Co-op gas bar, with plenty of pomp and circumstance and knackzoat.

“For the longest time, we respected and honoured Queen Oma Pankratz, but all good things have to come to an end,” said Thiessen. “I’m glad to see that Rudy Wiebe has finally ascended to the throne.”

Rudy Wiebe plans to enact many changes in the Mennonite world during his reign.

“For starters, we’re doing away with evening services,” said Wiebe. “Oh, and faspa will be held on Saturday nights after the hockey game. Go Oilers!”

King Rudy Wiebe is already polling as the most popular Mennonite monarch since Kleine Gemeinde founder Klaas Reimer.

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