Argos Destroy Patriots 28-5


In a rare cross-border match last night, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts embarrassed the New England Patriots by a score of 28 to 5.

“We were down by three touchdowns in the 7th inning. It’s really hard to come back after that,” said Patriots head coach Alex Cora. “Plus we had to learn all those funny Canadian football rules, so I guess that put us at a disadvantage.”

The New England squad managed to only get one field goal and a safety touch, which was shocking considering the Patriots were heavily favoured going into the match.

“I knew we wouldn’t be able to to handle the BC Lions or the Blue Bombers or something, but I figured surely we could take on the Argos,” said Cora. “I mean that McLeod Bethel-Thompson only had, like, three home runs all last season.”

Fresh off a victory over the Patriots, the Argos are now heavily favoured to beat Saskatchewan on Sunday, that is if the Roughriders don’t pull off the long-rumoured blockbuster trade for Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

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