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Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Spends Delightful Holiday Weekend on Toronto Tarmac

December 28, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Thiessens were all packed up and ready to visit their relatives in Manitoba this week, but decided at the last minute to spend the entire week on a lovely Toronto tarmac instead. […]

Unger Suspicion

Toronto Argos Celebrate Victory with Reception in Mennonite Church Basement

November 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Grey Cup-winning Toronto Argonauts gathered at the South Toronto Mennonite Church basement this afternoon for a lovely celebration that included a delightful array of buns with jam and several fans. “Thanks, everyone, […]

Unger Suspicion

Saskatchewan Farmer Rents Out His Barn as Grey Cup Accommodations

November 19, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK With hotels booked up as far away as Medicine Hat and Brandon, resourceful Mennonite farmers across Saskatchewan are ready to cash in on the Grey Cup accommodation shortage. One such entrepreneur is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Outreach Event Fails After Toronto Mennonite Church Hosts Actual Blue Jay Watching Party

October 8, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Hundreds of locals stormed out of the Toronto Disunited Mennonite Church this week after they showed up for what they thought was going to be Game 1 of the MLB playoffs. “They told […]

Unger Games

Toronto Couple Sells Small Empty Lot to Buy 40% Stake in the Maple Leafs

September 23, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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