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sports

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

June 18, 2026 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BV Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team won a match at the World Cup for the first time in history, thus ballooning the number […]

Unger Games

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY It didn’t take long and about fifty silver medals belonging to the Canadian men’s and women’s hockey teams have been discovered at the thrift store in Schanzenfeld, Manitoba. “Yeah, we’ll put them on […]

Unger Games

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

January 9, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets forward Jonathan […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited for Grand Slam of Curling in Steinbach

January 3, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Curling fans from across the world will be descending on the small Mennonite community of Steinbach this week to witness the curling elite in action. “Normally we just get to see Mrs. Loewen’s […]

Unger Games

Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series

November 2, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-winning run in game […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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