WINKLER, MB
Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern Manitoba.
“Hey, there must be something in the water there in Winkler,” said manager Will Venable, “and I don’t just mean Wonder Oil.”
Peters is on a tear this season, which has teams across the Major League’s scrambling to sign Mennonites.
“We’re scouting new talent in Winkler, Altona, even Gretna if we have to,” said Venable. “If you can knack zoat and hit for the cycle, we want you on our team.”
When the word got out, dozens of young Mennos in the Winkler area began practicing.
“I don’t know what it means to hit for the cycle in Chicago,” said young Timmy Dueck, “but around here it means getting one slushy at the Co-op, one lap in a rusty truck up and down Main Street, one fight with a Morden boy, and one ringer at the horseshoe pits. I’m halfway there already.”
The new Chicago lineup will also feature stirrups knitted by the ladies at the Winkler Senior Centre
(photo credit: DSC03238b/CC)
