Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler


Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen.

“Oba, see, what did I tell you. It was Mrs. Froese all along,” said Mr. Penner. “I just knew that schmaunt fat had to come from somewhere on Willow Drive, that’s for sure!”

For the past three years, Winkler authorities have been claiming all the city’s schmaunt fat supply has been coming from the Co-op Market, but now admit this was all just to keep hungry Mennonites from showing up on Mrs. Froese’s doorstep.

“I understand why they did it,” said Mr. Penner. “There was no way she could keep up with the demand for white creamy gravy around here.”

Meanwhile, Morden residents are still trying to figure out how this Winkler schmaunt fat got all the over to their community.

“Someone must have been dropping it off,” said Morden resident Agnes Peters. “Anyway, I’m glad we’ve finally gotten to the bottom of this.”

Experts will now be investigating where all the knackzoat comes from.

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