NEW BOTHWELL, MB
Funerals in the area were cancelled today after a bridge fire cut off access to the cheese curd factory in New Bothwell.
“Jauma, no cheese curds? Looks like we’ll have to postpone Uncle Henry’s internment,” said Mr. Ike Isaac. “It just wouldn’t feel right paying our respects without the sounds of squeaking cheese between our teeth.”
Firefighters worked hard all day to restore cheese curd access, but not before five funerals and six faspas had to be cancelled.
“That’s the thing with cheese curds, they’ve got to be fresh,” said Isaac Isaac. “There’s no point in even mourning a loved one without gnawing on a curd or two.”
With no curds and no hungry funeral attendees to feed, area churches are now overstocked on pickles and raisin buns.
“Not to mention all the sugar cubes,” said Issac Isaac. “Oba, I’m not sure what we’ll do with all this food. Surely, you can’t consume pickles without cheese curds. Can you? I’ve never tried it.”
The Bothwell Women’s Auxiliary Funeral Committee is already pooling their resources to come up with some creative uses for all the leftover pickles, though skeptics wonder just how sturdy a quilt fashioned from baby dills really will be.
(photo credit: Kricket/CC)