Virgin Births Nothing Rare in Mennonite Country


Miraculous conception has been cited as the cause of hundreds of pregnancies this past year in southern Manitoba. The Reinland Mennonite Hospital, for example, reported more than five hundred virgin births in 2017, up from 450 the year before.

“It’s a miracle! We get unwed mothers coming in here all the time,” said Doctor Wall, who is also an elder at the South Reinland EMB church. “The men are nowhere to be found. It’s truly a wonder to behold.”

Infants just keep appearing in southern Manitoba, though no one can explain where the heck they are coming from.

“I was never told where babies come from and I’m not about to learn,” said one local. “As far as I’m concerned, they’re all a gift from above and let’s just leave it at that.”

The village of Reinland has been quick to welcome the new children, offering each newborn a basket filled with gold, frankincense and a lovely ring of Pioneer farmer sausage.

“I don’t know where these babies come from. I don’t want to think about it,” said Elder Krahn. “Wherever they come from, they truly are little miracles.”

Santa's Complete List of Naughty Mennonites
Quiz: Daily Bonnet or Real News (2017)