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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Proposes Massive Sunflower Field for Portage and Main

May 2, 2023 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Adding to the long list of brilliant new proposals for Winnipeg’s most famous intersection, local man Abe B. Wall has submitted a proposal to convert Portage and Main into a massive field of […]

Unger Suspicion

New Olympic-size Swimming Pool Opens in Winnipeg

April 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A regulation Olympic-size swimming pool, complete with diving board, and a 24/7 on-duty lifeguard has opened up in the middle of a busy street in Winnipeg this week. “We’re really excited about this […]

Unger Suspicion

City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System

March 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway. […]

Unger Suspicion

“Road Conditions” Keep Winnipeggers from Leaving the City to Visit the Relatives

March 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Icy roads were just the latest in a long series of reasons why the Pletts of North Kildonan will not be visiting their frintschoft in Altona this weekend. “Here we are trying to […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I don’t not love Winkler,” says Michael B. Jordan

March 4, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In a rarely-seen clip that was cut from the TV broadcast, Hollywood superstar Michael B. Jordan claimed he doesn’t “not love Winkler,” this according to Mr. Plett who’s been telling everyone about at […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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