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winkler

Unger Conviction

Winkler Megamart to Become One Massive Shed Church

December 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After making absolutely zero effort to enforce provincial health restrictions, a local megamart has decided to transform the store into “one of them shed churches I heard so much about.” “We ain’t got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Man in Denial that He’s from Jantsied

November 30, 2021 Andrew

JANTSIED, MB Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Mr. Friesen of jantsied is utterly convinced that he’s from ditsied. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that man,” said Mr. Wiebe standing firmly in ditsied. […]

Unger & Thirst

Demolished Winkler Tower Cripples City’s Schmaunt Fat Supply

November 23, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Just weeks after Winkler’s most famous landmark was demolished, the area’s schmaunt fat supply has all but dried up and residents are concerned they may have to resort to eating fruits and vegetables […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Grocery Store to Retain Mask Rule Just So Locals Have Something to Rebel Against

August 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The management at the local DuperMart grocery store has decided to keep the mask law in place this summer just so that local folks can have a public place to blow off some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Graduated Licensing Program Adds New ‘Winkler Driver’ Stage Below ‘Learner’

July 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Valley Department of Motor Vehicles has added a new stage to their four stage graduated license called the “Winkler Driver” stage, which is just before Learner stage. “We implemented the graduated […]

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