Mennonite Couple Come Late to Church and Have to Settle for Front Row


The Driedgers of Saskatoon had a pretty hectic morning this Sunday when the toaster didn’t work, the hot water tank blew up and they just had to squeeze in a quick meddachschlop right before church. Needless to say, the couple was an embarrassing fifteen minutes late for church and had to settle for one of the first three rows!

“Oba, they’re singing already. Where on Earth are we going to sit?” said Mrs. Driedger, still composing herself after a particularly vigorous meddachschlop. “All the seats are taken!”

Oh, but they weren’t all taken! In what has been described as the “greatest travesty in Saskatoon Mennonite church history”, the Driedgers found that the only empty pews were right in the front.

“No one likes to be too close to the pastor,” said Mr. Driedger. “He tends to spit when he talks.”

Still, the Driedgers had no other choice and reluctantly plopped themselves down somewhere near the front, much to the horror of the rest of the congregation.

“I wish them all the best way up there in the front,” said Mrs. Petkau in row 17. “Good luck and God bless!”

The Driedgers managed to survive the entire service up there in the front, but the experience was so unpleasant that they vowed to be extra early next Sunday.

“Or else we’ll just wedge ourselves next to the Unger family,” said Mrs. Driedger. “They always have room.”

The Driedgers have also considered bribing one of the ushers, although the ethics of this has not yet been studied in the adult Sunday school class.

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