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The Daily Bonnet

Jant Sied Story Takes Home Top Prize at Mennonite Oscars

April 8, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The annual Mennonite Oscars and Faspa were held in the MB church basement in Winkler this afternoon, with the top prize going to the epic Anabaptist musical Jant Sied Story. “It’s a tale […]

The Daily Bonnet

Assiniboine Zoo Now Has Higher Vaccination Rate than Southern Manitoba

March 11, 2022 Andrew

RM of STANLEY, MB After vaccinating dozens of animals against Covid-19 this week, the Assiniboine Zoo in Winnipeg officially has a higher vaccination rate than the RM of Stanley near Winkler. “Ahh, nice, looks like […]

Unger & Thirst

Massive Shared Chicken Chef to Open Between Morden and Winkler

March 6, 2022 Andrew

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB After the unparalleled success of a shared hospital, the rival southern Manitoba cities of Morden and Winkler have agreed to build a massive Chicken Chef equidistant between the two communities. “The time for […]

Unger Conviction

Winkler Area Church to Meet in Bouncy Castle

February 22, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Having outgrown the capacity of a nearby storage shed, a Winkler area church has decided to relocate the entire congregation to a bouncy castle they’ve inflated on the Kroeker yard. “Oh, look, a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden to Pass Winkler in Population By the Year 2056

February 14, 2022 Andrew

MORDEN, MB At the current rate, Manitoba’s fastest growing city, Morden, will pass rival community Winkler in population by the year 2056, the same year that Mennonite astronauts are set to colonize Jupiter. “Just do […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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