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Unger Suspicion

BC Couple Super Proud of Their Lovely Brown Lawn this Year

July 24, 2021 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Always eager to show off their green thumbs, Mr. and Mrs. Driedger of Black Creek, British Columbia have been posting photos of their delightful dead grass throughout the summer. “Just look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Relatives Rush to Manitoba Where There’s Air Conditioning

July 1, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The mass exodus seems to be reversing itself, as thousands of Mennos from the Fraser Valley are flocking back to Manitoba where homes come equipped with luxuries such as you know, like, air […]

Unger Suspicion

Vancouver Heat Wave Blamed On Hot Air From Abbotsford

June 27, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC As blistering temperatures rock the West Coast, Vancouverites are desperate to find a plausible explanation for this abnormal heat wave. It seems like they’ve finally discovered the source. “The hot air is believed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rainy Day Equals Free Car Wash for Mennonite Man

March 25, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK As soon as the skies started to get dark this afternoon, Peter Bueckert, 41, of Rosthern was quick to get his ’92 Ford Escort outside into the rain. “Free car wash!” yelled Bueckert […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year

October 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON For the first time in almost a hundred years, millions of Canadians will be forced to suffer through one of their own winters. “Diewel, if I had known it was this bad, I’d […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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