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Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Excommunicated for Living in Temperate Climate

June 2, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Unger and the rest of his family has been sentenced to ten years shovelling the church parking lot after it was discovered they spent the entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona […]

Unger Suspicion

Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba

May 5, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A sump pump from North Kildonan has been awarded the Order of Manitoba this year for its “meritorious service towards the well-being of the residents of Manitoba.” “It’s quite the honour,” said the […]

Unger & Thirst

Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply

April 15, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Inclement spring weather has meant the closure of a number of highways that are essential to maintaining the flow of paska into the region. “Highway 75 is closed today, sealing Mennonites off from […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades

April 13, 2022 Andrew

REINLAND, MB A Reinland man claims he was sick of paying “city people” prices for ice cream desserts and decided he was going to replicate a Blizzard treat all on his own. The results were […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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