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vereniki

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Frees Up Some Freezer Space to Store Vaccines

March 24, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Grandma Dueck of Rosenort spent her entire weekend making space in her freezer for the new Pfizer vaccine, which she heard requires super low temperatures that only a Mennonite grandma’s freezer can support. […]

Unger & Thirst

Pembina Valley Excited for ‘Vereniki Week’ Competition

September 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB While Morden may have the edge in craft beer, when it comes to vereniki and schmaunt fat, the neighbouring community of Winkler really shines. This year, the annual Vereniki Week competition has more […]

Unger & Thirst

Heretical Mennonite Man Smothers Perogies in Sour Cream

July 13, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man, Abe Sawatzky, 67, shocked a whole table of cousins at faspa on Friday after foregoing the schmaunt fat and smothering his cottage cheese perogies in sour cream instead. “Diewel devil shinda! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers Brave New World of Fried Vereniki

April 1, 2020 Andrew

“O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people in’t!” -William Shakespeare, The Tempest ALTONA, MB A church lunch this past Sunday has […]

Unger & Thirst

Calculating the True Cost of Vereniki

February 15, 2020 Andrew

Too often as consumers we are only looking at the sticker price. However, to truly get a sense of the economic, social, and environmental impact of our consumption, we have to factor in all the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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