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turkey

Unger & Thirst

Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef

October 12, 2022 Andrew

CARMAN, MB The Hiebert family of Carman were all raring up for their first non-illegal Thanksgiving dinner in three years, when Taunte Helen’s failure to preheat the oven caused such a long delay that they […]

Unger & Thirst

Thanksgiving Leftovers Miraculously Resurrected After Three Days

October 12, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Days after being forgotten about in a margarine container at the back of the fridge, a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers were resurrected from the dead by local plumber and church elder, Peter […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pastor Pardons Thanksgiving Farmer Sausage

November 24, 2016 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN By now it’s an annual tradition. When the President pardons a Thanksgiving turkey at the White House, thus sparing it from certain death, a Mennonite pastor in small town Minnesota also pardons […]

Unger & Thirst

Canadians Gorge on Turkey While Millions of Americans Starve

October 10, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Yes, Canada has it’s own Thanksgiving holiday and, thanks to an earlier harvest, it comes a full six weeks before the American celebration. This means that gluttons across Canada can fill their bellies […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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