The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

toronto

Unger Games

Toronto Couple Sells Small Empty Lot to Buy 40% Stake in the Maple Leafs

September 23, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invade Downtown Toronto During Power Outage

August 11, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites from Waterloo County fled to the big city of Toronto this afternoon after the word got out that the power was down. “Finally, those city folks are seeing the error […]

Unger Games

Argos Destroy Patriots 28-5

July 23, 2022 Andrew

BOSTON, MA In a rare cross-border match last night, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts embarrassed the New England Patriots by a score of 28 to 5. “We were down by three touchdowns in the 7th inning. […]

Unger Suspicion

Census Shows 96% of Canadian Men are Named Gord

July 1, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Statistics Canada has released the results of a brand new survey that shows that 95.7% of Canadian men sport the first name Gord. “Basically we went to the Yonge-Dundas Square and starting yelling […]

Unger Suspicion

Band on “Cross-Country” Tour of Canada Really Only Just Playing in Toronto and Montreal

May 7, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Legendary American hard rock band The Guess Why? are embarking on a “cross country” tour which includes stops in more than one Canadian city. “We’re going from coast to coast,” said Guess Why? […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 4 5 6 … 8 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Excluded from Debate, Green Party Told to Fight Amongst Themselves Like Mennonites
    April 19, 2025
  • DNA Testing Reveals Theologian Greg Boyd to be ‘90% Mennonite’
    October 26, 2016
  • Rumspringa 2021 Not Nearly as Wild as Amish Boy was Hoping For
    March 3, 2021
  • ‘Free Vaccine’ Causes Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Man
    May 22, 2021
  • Committee Already Planning “Anabaptism 1000” Celebrations
    June 3, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved