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texting

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Sends Everyone in Canada Some Stupid Cat Meme

March 30, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Eager to capitalize on this hip new technology he just discovered called “texting,” Conservative leader Andrew Scheer sent, like, totally everyone in the country a really stupid cat meme he happened to find […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)

March 12, 2019 Andrew

Oba, so sometimes when you live in Steinbach you don’t even realized how Menno your life is. It all just seems normal until you stop and take a closer look. Take, for example, these texts […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman’s Thumbs Got a Great Workout at the Gym Today

July 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Erin Friesen, 34, gave her thumbs quite the workout at the gym today. Friesen estimates she sent more than a hundred texts today and burned between 3 and 4 calories. “Dang […]

The Daily Bonnet

Why that Mennonite Boy is Not Texting You Back

May 9, 2018 Andrew

The worst thing about dating these days is when your crush takes, like, totally forever to text you back or doesn’t text back at all! Well I’ve texted with many Mennonite boys, so I know […]

Unger Conviction

Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church

September 24, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC While most jurisdictions have enacted legislation to curb distracted driving, the problem of texting and walking still remains. The dangers of such a practice became all too real for area woman Alana Foster, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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