Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi


The staff at Camp Menno Bird have been on damage control this week after the tuck shop ran out of Doritos and Papsi the very first day.

“We simply didn’t order enough. We greatly underestimated the demand,” said camp counselor Rebecca. “We also didn’t realize the amount of allowance money these kids are packing.”

All the tuck shop had left after the first day were two packs of black liquorice and a few sticks of Thrills gum.

“All the good stuff was snatched up immediately,” said Rebecca. “From now on, we’re going to have to ration the Cool Ranch Doritos….and the Papsi.”

Some kids were crying for their parents and demanding to go home after they found out they’d have to subsist on Sloppy Joe’s and corn dogs the rest of the week.

At press time, the camp has announced a new shipment of Doritos is expected later in the week, though only the kids who can successfully recite Psalm 23 will be eligible to get in the tuck shop lineup.

(photo credit: Melissa Doroquez/CC)

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