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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’

October 11, 2023 Andrew

NIPAWIN, SK Area man Abe Schmidt, 61, had drawn considerable attention as of late for his social media posts, which friends and family say are “completely full of Schmidt.” “The guy is not a reliable […]

Unger Suspicion

Sean Penn Confesses He’s Really a Penner

September 9, 2023 Andrew

SANTA MONICA, CA Hollywood icon Sean Penn appeared on The View today and confessed that he shortened his name name back in 1978 so as “not to appear too Mennonite.” “I’m a Penner,” said Penn. […]

Unger Suspicion

Ungerer Adds an Extra ‘Er’ to Become Ungererer

September 8, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENERERER, ON Not satisfied with the mildererer form of the word Unger, area man Bill Ungerer has decided to add an extra ‘er’ and become the world’s first Ungererer. “And my kids, I hope, will […]

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger Suspicion

Newfoundland’s Dyck-Shaped Iceberg Goes Viral

April 29, 2023 Andrew

ST. JOHN’S, NFLD A massive Dyck-shaped iceberg off the coast of Newfoundland has gone viral this week, as iceberg lovers claim they’ve never seen anything like it before. “Icebergs come in all shapes and sizes,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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