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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Friesen Toews

January 21, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After a cold snap in Rosthern, Saskatchewan, Mrs. Anita Friesen has resorted to double and even triple-socking her feet to prevent her Toews from Friesen. “My Toews Froese Fast,” said Friesen. “They were […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Mennonites Who Are Spelling Their Last Names Incorrectly

December 24, 2023 Andrew

I know what you’re thinking – “it’s my last name, so I can spell it however I want” or “who are you to say how our last name should be spelled?” And I’m sympathetic to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’

October 11, 2023 Andrew

NIPAWIN, SK Area man Abe Schmidt, 61, had drawn considerable attention as of late for his social media posts, which friends and family say are “completely full of Schmidt.” “The guy is not a reliable […]

Unger Suspicion

Sean Penn Confesses He’s Really a Penner

September 9, 2023 Andrew

SANTA MONICA, CA Hollywood icon Sean Penn appeared on The View today and confessed that he shortened his name name back in 1978 so as “not to appear too Mennonite.” “I’m a Penner,” said Penn. […]

Unger Suspicion

Ungerer Adds an Extra ‘Er’ to Become Ungererer

September 8, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENERERER, ON Not satisfied with the mildererer form of the word Unger, area man Bill Ungerer has decided to add an extra ‘er’ and become the world’s first Ungererer. “And my kids, I hope, will […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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