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The Daily Bonnet

Mr. and Mrs. Dyck Still Don’t Get the Joke

October 8, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. H.W. Dyck of North Kildonan still don’t understood why non-Mennonite young people seem to fly into hysterics whenever they hear their surname uttered. “I went to the big mall over there to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen-Friesen Wedding is Well-Attended by Local Friesens

September 8, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Hundreds of Friesens from throughout southeast Manitoba descended on the local EMBC church this past Saturday to attend the wedding of Benjamin Friesen and Anna Friesen (no relation). “I’m so excited to see […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Win at the Mennonite Game: Swiss Edition

September 3, 2016 Andrew

Typical for Dutch-Prussian-Russian Mennonites, the so-called “comprehensive” guide to the Mennonite Game published yesterday contained a few startling biases such as names of rivers and Uncles. In order to address these issues, a generous Swiss Mennonite reader […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Peter Penner Picks a Peck of Pickled Peppers

July 6, 2016 Andrew

PANSY, MB Pastor Peter Penner of Pansy has been pruning his peppers and is now prepared to pick a peck of them. “It’s not often you pick a peck of peppers and they’re pre-pickled,” said Penner. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers

May 26, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite the fact that Steinbach, Manitoba is home to the largest concentration of Goertzens in the world, Chris Goertzen, mayor of Steinbach, and Kelvin Goertzen, local MLA, are having a hard time convincing area […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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