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Unger Games

Morrissey Spotted at NHL All-Star Game

February 5, 2023 Andrew

SUNRISE, FL Controversial British rocker Morrissey was spotted at the NHL All Star Game in Florida this weekend, where he picked up two assists and placed third in the slap shot competition. “Who would have […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Trade for the Wrong Toews

January 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours have been swirling for weeks that Chicago Blackhawks superstar Jonathan Toews might be on the trading block, and what better place for him to land than in his hometown of Winnipeg. Unfortunately […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Man Hospitalized After Dangerous Fall from Jets’ Bandwagon

January 20, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Paul Kroeker, 51, was rushed to the hospital last night after a dangerous fall off the Winnipeg Jets’ bandwagon. “Jets suck! Fire Hellebuyck! Jets suck!” yelled Kroeker, as paramedics loaded him […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blames Loss on Slightly-Raised Staple

January 2, 2023 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Area man Steve Kroeker, 67, of Rosetown went home really grumpy after the annual Kroeker Kjnipsdesh tournament this weekend … and all on account of a raised staple. “That’s the last time we […]

Unger Games

Christiano Ronaldo Signs $200 Million Deal with Hanover Kickers

December 31, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Hanover Kickers of the Manitoba Major Soccer League scored big this off-season with the signing of Portuguese superstar Christiano Ronaldo. The deal is rumoured to be worth upwards of $200 million a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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