Church AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season


The Eighth Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas obliged all its members to show up and approve the budget right in the middle of the big game this past week.

“Yeah, well, too bad. We schedule these important meetings years in advance,” said Pastor Harold. “How are we to know when various sporting events are taking place?”

Despite the conflict, almost every member of Eighth Mennonite showed up to the meeting, complete with church basement punch, cold cuts, and plenty of bad attitudes.

“Ugh, can we get this meeting over with? The game is about to start,” said Dan, who seconded every motion in an effort to speed up the proceedings. “Yeah, yeah, the budget looks fine with me.”

Any church members who decided to stay at home and watch the game instead of attending the AGM were immediately put on potluck cleanup duty.

“The great thing about holding an AGM during the big game is you get a whole bunch of people who have no choice but to do all the most undesirable jobs all year long,” said Pastor Harold. “I think my strategy is working perfectly fine, thank you very much.”

Pastor Harold is already in talks with the Commissioner of the NFL to make sure he schedules the Super Bowl precisely during the Eighth Mennonite Church AGM next year too.

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