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Unger Conviction

Church Attendance “Way Up” in Calgary as Flames Threaten to Leave Town

January 26, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB As the owners of the beloved Calgary Flames threaten to move the team to Houston or Seattle, tens of thousands of Calgarians have returned to church in order to “get right with the […]

Unger Games

Canadian Men’s Hockey Team is Mostly Just Random Dudes from Your Church Floor Hockey League

January 12, 2018 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The Canadian Olympic Men’s hockey team was announced Thursday and it turns out most of the guys are just random dudes from your church floor hockey league. “With the NHL boycotting the Olympics […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking an Arm While Sledding a Hiebert Family Tradition

January 8, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost four decades, the Hieberts of Steinbach have made an annual trip to Abe’s Hill to toboggan and break arms together as a family. This year was little Dylan’s first trip to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row

December 22, 2017 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Grandpa Wiebe of Vankla impressed all the Wiebes at the Wiebe gathering last night after knipsing twenty after twenty, and at the rate of a toonie per knispe, earned himself quite the pile […]

Unger Games

After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied

December 16, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB After moving to Calgary back in 1997, former Manitoba resident Jeremy Berg still has yet to strap on a pair of skies, much to the chagrin of his new Alberta friends. “Frankly, I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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