After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied

CALGARY, AB

After moving to Calgary back in 1997, former Manitoba resident Jeremy Berg still has yet to strap on a pair of skies, much to the chagrin of his new Alberta friends.

“Frankly, I feel a little pathetic,” said Berg. “When I first moved, I told myself I’d be skiing all the time. Skiing to work, skiing to the pub after work, skiiing to church, everything! But I’m sad to say, in all these years I haven’t even touched a ski pole.”

Berg had been invited to go to Banff a few times by his Alberta friends, but he has always found some reason not to go.

“He’d claim it’s too expensive, or he was afraid of breaking an arm,” explained a Calgary friend. “I mean, yeah, if you’re used to Manitoba wages it might seem pricey, but, come on, you’re in Alberta now, live a little!”

Still, after twenty years, Berg feels like a Manitoban-in-Alberta rather than a true Albertan.

“I swat mosquitos that aren’t even there,” said Berg. “It’s just a reflex.”

He also claims he prefers lakes to mountains, that he eats more pickerel than beef, is a better curler than bareback rider, and has decidedly more centrist political views than most of his friends.

“You can take a man out of Manitoba, but you can’t take the Manitoba out of the man,” said Berg. “I’m perfectly fine paying 13% sales tax. It’s in my blood.”

For the record, Berg is the guy in the Patrick Laine jersey in the third row at the Saddledome.

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