The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

shopping

The Daily Bonnet

Lineup Outside Newly Reopened Dollar Store Stretches All the Way from Winkler to Steinbach

February 13, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER or STEINBACH, MB As stores offering non-essential items such as helium balloons, cotton swabs, colourful napkins, and hair ties reopen in Manitoba, the lineup outside dollar stores has grown to enormous lengths. So long […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Things American Mennonites Can Buy with their $600 Stimulus Checks

January 23, 2021 Andrew

The check (sic) is in the mail! To ease the troubled financial situation that many Americans are facing these days, Senators and Members of Congress who make $174,000 a year have generously consented to sending […]

Unger Suspicion

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Tracking Her Amazon Package

December 21, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Loewen of Saskatoon has been eagerly anticipating her package from Amazon this Christmas and has been spending every waking moment checking for shipping updates. “Dietschlaund! It’s still in Flin Flon, Manitoba for […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service

December 9, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The EGCMB Church of Saskatoon has installed five Slurpee machines and a place to rotate the wieners so that they can reopen as an essential business this Sunday. “Come for the gospel, stay […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 8 9 10 … 21 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • World’s Largest Snake Den Discovered in Manitoba Legislature
    May 8, 2018
  • Fossil Discovered in Southern Manitoba
    November 12, 2017
  • 8% Tithe Now Acceptable Due to Economic Downturn
    February 6, 2018
  • Massive Usher Shortage Shuts Down Mennonite Church this Summer
    July 16, 2023
  • Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen
    December 6, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved