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shopping

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Go Around Naked Now that Reitman’s is Closed

January 16, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Agatha Martens, 73, is concerned she’ll be left with absolutely nothing to wear now that Reitman’s is closing. Martens relied so heavily on purchasing her floral blouses and navy blue slacks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Just About Ready to Start His Christmas Shopping

December 23, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Dave Wiens figured he was just about ready to start Christmas shopping and so decided to venture out to the mall in Vanapag this morning. “I know a lot of my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family on Costco Hot Dogs

December 19, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Wiens family of Linden loaded up the Dodge Caravan this afternoon for their weekly trip to Costco to enjoy really cheap hot dogs. “This time we brought along Oma and Opa and […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Man Crashes into Giant Tiger

December 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Wildlife specialists were called to downtown Steinbach this week after area man Michael Teichrob, 21, crashed right into a giant tiger on Main Street. “Gosh, I’ve heard of accidents with moose and elk, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Do Her Christmas Shopping Until There’s Snow on the Ground

November 16, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Ruth Peters of Winkler is amassing a long list of presents to buy, all because the lack of snow on the ground this November has not put her in the right mood […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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