Steinbach Man Crashes into Giant Tiger


Wildlife specialists were called to downtown Steinbach this week after area man Michael Teichrob, 21, crashed right into a giant tiger on Main Street.

“Gosh, I’ve heard of accidents with moose and elk, even a bear or two, but never did I expect to ram straight into a giant tiger. Not here in Steinbach anyway,” explained Teichrob. “They really should put a tiger crossing sign on the corner of Main and Reimer.”

Experts argue that Teichrob should have seen the tiger coming, especially considering how large it was.

“Not to mention that it was completely stationary,” said Officer Klippenstein. “That giant tiger was so easy to avoid that it makes you wonder whether the driver was trying to ram into the animal on purpose.”

Thankfully, the giant tiger was not injured in the accident.

“We gave him a thorough examination,” said Klippenstein. “And he’s no worse for wear.”

Sadly, ramming into giant stationary targets has become common place on Main Street Steinbach.

“It’s not just the tigers who are at risk,” said Klippenstein. “If you’ve got a storefront on Main Street, it’s only a matter of time before you’ve got a Honda Civic in the breakfast cereal aisle.”

Teichrob has been awarded Steinbach’s safest driver award and will increase 5 merits on his driver’s license.

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