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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fondly Reminisce About the Olden Days When Chicken Meat Actually Contained Chicken

March 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After DNA testing recently revealed that the chicken at numerous popular fast food establishments had “only trace amounts of chicken meat,” Mennonites across North America fondly recalled the days when eating chicken meant you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Dad’s Jokes Fall Flat at Local Smitty’s

February 24, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local father-of-four Jake Klassen received nothing but rolled eyes at the local Smitty’s this past Sunday after testing out his new comedy routine on the indulgent waitress. “Oh, gosh, Dad, please just order […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites

February 20, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finds Money Mysteriously Left Behind on Restaurant Table

August 17, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Peter K. Barkman, 57, of the Winkler area hit the jackpot this past Tuesday as he found five quarters and a loonie inexplicably left behind on the table by previous restaurant patrons. “It’s my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Leaves Record $0.10 Tip at Local Diner

June 13, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area waitresses were shocked to hear of the generous ten cent tip that fellow restaurant server Mary Penner received during her evening shift on Saturday. “In all my years of waitressing, I’ve never […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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