‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church


Reverend V.D. Harder was furious with the “arrogant, and presumptuous behaviour” of one of his parishioners this past Sunday who had the “sheer gall” to bring his own Bible to church. Mr. Friesen is thought to be the first person in the history of the church to challenge authority in this way.

“There he was, just waltzing into the building, with a smile on his face and a leather-bound Ryrie Study Bible in his hands,” said Harder. “He even had a highlighter along. How brazen.”

Mr. Friesen claims that he meant no offence to the minister, but thought it “might be nice to read along during the service.”

“What a disgusting attitude,” said Harder. “Who does he think he is? Next thing he’ll be singing along with the choir and asking to teach Sunday School or something.”

Reverend Harder has not attended seminary, nor does he have any formal Bible training, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking he, alone, is qualified to interpret Scripture.

“There’s a reason we don’t allow people to bring their own Bibles,” said Harder. “People like Mr. Friesen should never get so proud and worldly that he thinks his views about the Bible should be taken seriously.”

The Reverend publicly scolded Mr. Friesen from the pulpit and added that “around here, the only uninformed guesses about the Bible that matter are the pastor’s!”

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