Mennonites Blame Trudeau for Slow Waffle Sauce Rollout

WINKLER, MB

Mennonites at the Winkler manor were getting cranky last night and were blaming Justin Trudeau when a full twenty minutes after the waffles arrived, some residents had not yet received their first serving of delicious waffle sauce.

“Does he expect us to eat these heart-shaped waffles dry?” wondered Mr. Thiessen. “Apparently you’ve got to be over 90 to get your waffle sauce, but my Mary always tells me once I hit 90 I’m not allowed to have it anymore. I’m turning 88 this month, so I better get my waffle sauce while I can.”

While the nurses at the manor are trying really hard to make sure everyone gets a ladle of sauce, many feel it’s not fast enough.

“I’ve had my waffle sitting here since the Back to the Bible broadcast began. Now it’s almost over and the waffle sauce girl still hasn’t come,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “The same thing happened last week with the schmaunt fat. I don’t know why they don’t just bring the vereniki and the schmaunt fat at the same time. They seem totally disorganized there in the kitchen.”

The management at the manor, meanwhile, is saying they can only ladle on the waffle sauce as fast as the Feds can provide it.

“We’re hoping the new Rosenort batch gets approved soon,” said Mrs. Driedger, manager at the manor. “Those slowpokes in Steinbach just can’t make the waffle sauce fast enough.”

Rumours have it the Steinbach folks are lathering their own waffles with sauce and won’t supply other communities until all the Reimers have had their fill.

(photo credit: Mike/CC/modified)

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