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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Successfully Convinces Husband to Leave the House

November 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After months of incessant requests, area woman Anne Peters finally convinced her husband Donald to leave the house and take her to Chuck’s Roadhouse or something for once. “That man has spent every […]

The Daily Bonnet

Trendy Cafe Allows Customers to Sit Around and Drink Coffee While Completely Surrounded by Farmers

July 7, 2024 Andrew

MINNEAPOLIS, MN While the Cat Cafe market may already be saturated in the Twin Cities, entrepreneur Erin Buhr of Mountain Lake has decided to open a new kind of establishment – a Farmer Cafe. “Basically […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Woman Calls Police About Long Line at Krispy Kreme

June 23, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Mrs. Hiebert, 81, of Steinbach called in a police report this morning after she noticed a long time of vehicles stretching all the way from the new Kripsy Kreme in Winnipeg, […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak ‘Just the Way Mennonites Like It’

March 25, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB A brand new steakhouse in the small Mennonite town of Blumenort is offering patrons a delectable array of the toughest overcooked pieces of beef. “We specialize in old dairy cows,” said restaurant proprietor […]

Unger & Thirst

Abandoned Pizza Hut Serves as Lasting Monument to Human Ingenuity and Indigestion

March 4, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Impossible, due to its distinctive shape, to repurpose for any other use, abandoned Pizza Hut buildings have cropped up in cities and towns across the continent, a living testament to the ingenuity and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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