Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites


A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele.

“They’re a bit cumbersome, and they don’t always fit perfectly into a restaurant booth,” explains Bueckert, “but, still, better a canoe than a Mennonite. I say this…and I am a Mennonite myself.”

Bueckert says that Mennonites are far too buoyant and stable, and that his waitresses much prefer a customer whose a little more shaky on their feet, like a canoe.

“When you stand up in one, there’s a bit of danger there,” said Bueckert. “It’s exactly that potential that we’d like to exploit at our restaurant.”

When a canoe takes on water, or when someone rocks from side to side, they have the tendency to topple over and, when that happens, sometimes they do something that no Mennonite has ever done.

“I know that a lot of people can’t tell the difference between a Mennonite and a canoe,” said Bueckert. “But I guarantee you any restaurant worker could tell you the answer to that question in a heartbeat.”

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